Get Laid Tips

This is a part 2 please read link below to understand whats going on? The two best Answers were I “think the first thing you need to do is stop calling her a control freak” and “Well unfortunately I agreed with another commenter”

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuCTwh5C9ogfi2kZPmxpj.8azKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20100120163817AAZx8al

After reading all the useful tips my Girlfriend has decided she wants me to see a dominatrix as she says she cannot do it. I wish it could have been her not a stranger. It would have meant so much more to me the person i love sharing this experience with me. I feel i need to give you all some background info and maybe you could come up with solutions?
4 Years ago she came out of a bad relationship and strait into one with me. Her X had low self esteem, Was very Insecure, Untrusting, and as a result used to Control her useing Blackmail, Anger, Emotional Violence and even some times physical violence. Unfortunately this rubbed off on her and she treated me the same for the first two years.
Because She had picked up low self esteem, Insecure, Untrusting, from her x (some would call it baggage) every little detail of our sex life she would jump on (If i dint get a hard on she would think it was her fault, Also she had Fear of Rejection,) all signs of low self esteem and insecurities (courtesy of her X). It never occurred to her i was so mentally bashed i knew if i didn’t get hard she would blow up and blame herself, so it made me go soft thinking about it (a lot of pressure). It never occurred to her im not always gonna be in the mood and just because you try a few times and you don’t succeed try somthing else (Dont give up). Try learning what works and what doesn’t. Unforttunetly back then there was no logic like there is now, she is over the whole insecure and low self esteem and dealing with trust issues. Unfortunately it hasn’t allowed our sex life to progress as a normal couples. And she has slight Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which means if she has a bad experience with somthing she attatches negative emotions to it and become fearful or reluctant to do it again. Now she associates dressing up with negative emotions she has attached to it. She is seeing a recognal therapist who has helped her with her trust But she has said she would rather me see a dominatrix than her do it. She says she would do this to save our relationship. Im not happy with this as it feels totally wrong. My needs in the first 3 years always came in second place and it is only now where we have got to the point where we both feel like walking away from the relationship. Love is the only thing keeping us together. But sometimes loves not enough…. All i want her do do is dress up for me – Not even dominate me… I don’t want another women doing it i want the woman i love doing it. We average making love once a month now and even then there are so many issues from the past it seems like an impossible mission.. I cannot give up the need for this as i end up getting frustrated and distanceing my self from her as this is my copeing mechanism. But all that does is drive use further apart. And im getting more angry and resentful that her x brought thease problems into our relationship and its showing in my attitude toward her.