How to get to her WITHOUT VIOLATING.

Posted by: laidtips  :  Category: Recent Tips

How to get to her WITHOUT VIOLATING.
— Be friendly and nice, without “crossing that line” of being mean to someone. Simultaneously, persist and interpret everything in a positive way. Do NOT get emotionally reactive or you will lose. Just act like nothing is a big deal. Keep plowing, be yourself, and don’t violate social norms.

— Neg. Perhaps this is why Negs have been so hard to understand. I can define a neg as something that conveys disinterest, while simultaneously NOT crossing a violation line. If I say, “I hate you, you fucking bitch” then I have conveyed disinterest. ***But I have also DISQUALIFIED MYSELF by violating. Now I’m CREEPY and people can ignore me without feeling guilty. She’s looking to screen me out anyway, early on especially, so I basically just made it easy for her.

(Some guys walk away from this sort of thing saying, “Whatever, I don’t care.” Look, it’s good to not care. But that attitude should be combined with the social intelligence not to make social errors and get yourself disqualified. We are playing to win, so don’t deliberately hang yourself. People WILL give you the rope – watch out for it. They are baiting you.)

Negs allow me to do very useful things (frame control, false disqualifiers, emotional stimulation, comfort building, value subcommunication) while simultaneously NOT crossing the violation boundary and getting disqualified. I’m still friendly and unreactive. I’m not a violator. And as long as I keep plowing, she can’t blow me out.

This may be what some players are talking about when they say that people can’t blow them out of set anymore.

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